FRIEND, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

A couple of months ago a co-worker’s son told me that he had been ordained as a minister. I thought this was a little surprising and asked what church body was “overseeing” him and his ministry. He told me none, he was “ordained” by filling out a form online and paying a small fee. He is going to officiate the wedding of his grandmother.

The Wedding Report, a research firm, says last year one out of every seven weddings in the U.S. was performed by a friend of the couple. From what I see on the internet and in magazines, this seems to be a growing trend. State laws tell us who can legally get married and who can officiate the marriage vows. They permit or allow clergy to be a part of the process, if the couple so chooses. My guess is they do not question who or how one is ordained because of the “separation of church and state” stuff. Anyone can become “ordained” so they may officiate a wedding.

I do not have a problem with a couple wanting a friend or relative to officiate their wedding, I have a problem with the person getting “ordained” to do it. The online process trivializes what it means to be a clergyperson. For those who have not practiced a faith and have no plans on doing so, getting married by a clergyperson is not really meaningful.

Some feel that marriage is a sacrament like baptism or Holy Communion. I won’t comment on that, but I believe that Scripture tells us: that we should prepare for marriage, it is OK to have a large celebration after the wedding, that we should not be unequally yoked, and the reasons for divorce are limited. There are a number of passages that discuss how husbands and wives should treat each other. The church’s relationship to Jesus is described as a marriage. If our desire is to have a Christ centered marriage, we often choose to be married in a church and definitely have a minister as a part of the service. But do we always have to have clergy present when we do certain things? I know of people who partake in the Lord's Supper at midnight at their New Year's Eve party with no pastor or priest present and without the pastor or priest doing the bread and wine prep. I also know of people who want the person who shared the Gospel with them to be the one who baptizes them, be it pastor, friend or parent.

With that being said, marriage is a state of the heart and mind. Someone may be legally married in the eyes of the state, but in the heart and mind he or she may be very much single. We’ll let God decide if they are really married or not. Some people have been baptized and have partaken in Holy Communion and have never had a heart or mind change. We’ll let God decide if they are Christian or not.

Please share your thoughts.

MEMOIRS

Last weekend, we attended a family reunion in Atlanta. Friday night was game night, Saturday a picnic, Saturday night talent show and Sunday morning brunch and worship. The worship time was in the hotel banquet room complete with songs, prayer, scripture reading, testimony sharing and a short sermon. Several who shared gave earwitness testimony of hearing our grandmother pray while visiting her home. My paternal grandfather died in 1980 and my grandmother 1981, yet their faithfulness to God is still being told.

On two occasions, I shared from my memoir, my blog entries. I consider my blog and the journal that I now keep to be my memoirs. Some may think it vain or being controlling, but I want to leave my children and their children something to remember me by in my own words. I think it is interesting to watch a documentary of someone famous and see their grandchildren speak of their loved one’s values, thoughts, dreams and goals. You really know a person when you know their values, thoughts, dreams and goals. I want my descendants to really know me and that includes the value I place on having a relationship with Jesus. As Christ followers, we should do good works and be obedient to Christ’s teachings. I want them to know that good works do not save you, but having a relationship with Jesus does.

I got a couple of chuckles when I said that I was reading from my memoirs, but that is OK. The hearers now know me better :)

Read my post on "attending a family reunion is like looking in a mirror".

Attending a family reunion is like looking in a mirror.

Think about this, attending a family reunion is like looking in a mirror. Why do we look in the mirror? To verify that we look good, to correct any minor imperfections or to discover the look that we were going for is not working!

At a family reunion when we see our grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins, we may see that we do in fact look good, we may see some minor personality issues, flaws if you will, that need correction or some major flaws we see in each other that we may realize that we ourselves have that must be corrected.

James 1:22 -25 says Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. NIV

Let’s learn and grow from what we see in our family, know that you are special and precious, worthy to love and be loved, though imperfect we can be made perfect in Jesus Christ.